This weekend, my boyfriend(M21) and I(F19) went out drinking with friends including one of my closest friends and her boyfriend. I got drunk but I was aware of what was happening and still having fun. Later that night, my boyfriend and I had sex in his car near the bar. It was mutual.

The next day, I told that same friend about it, and she got really serious. She said she saw how out of it I was at the bar and that since he was sober, I couldn’t have given proper consent. She straight up told me she thinks it was rape. I remember saying yes, I felt safe, and we’ve been together for a while. I am bit mad and upset at my friend even if it was a place of concern. Am I overreacting for feeling this way?

I had an affair with my sister's husband when I was 16, yes I regret it and I truly am disgusted with my past self. When they found out my sister publicly shamed me ( fair enough) and told my parents ( also fair),  She also told our parents, which was fair, but she chose to stay with her husband and blamed me for "seducing" him into being unfaithful. She forgave him and decided to reconcile, while I was left to face the consequences. My parents kicked me out, and I had to scramble to find somewhere to live. Every time I found a new job, my parents and sister would contact my coworkers to call me a "homewrecker." They would harass me wherever I went, gossiping about my "status." While no one treated me differently to my face, the stares and whispers were unbearable. I had to leave the city and move to another just to escape them and for my mental health. Some people might say I'm overreacting but they really followed me like the plague.

I moved and met a nice elderly couple who never had kids who took me in, “mark and helen” and by that I mean they offered me to stay with them if I wanted and were so nice to me, I had my own place but I often visited them. To this day they mean the world to me. They knew what happened and i once even joked and had said something along the lines of “aren't you afraid i'll steal your husband as a homewrecker” she told me that me being a homewrecker wasn't my entire personality and to move on and learn from what i did. I eventually met my now-husband, and we have four children, all adults except for one who is 17. My kids know about my parents and the past situation, and they grew up considering Mark and Helen their grandparents, alongside my in-laws. Then, last Saturday, I received a message:::

I hope you can find it in your heart to read this message. I know we’ve been through so much pain and hardship, and I want to be honest with you about everything. I deeply regret how things have unfolded between us, especially the hurtful things we said and did in the past and I am truly sorry for all the pain we caused you.

Our actions have had lasting consequences. We never got to know our grandchildren, and I realize now how much we missed out on. XXXX husband cheated again and left her for someone else. I see how much she’s been suffering—she’s now a woman left alone with two kids caring for a disabled child and an autistic child who has it hard too, and trying to carry on despite everything. She has been so strong but it's not enough. We are in a difficult situation ourselves, struggling financially. We don’t have enough space or resources to help her directly, but we deeply want to support her and her children.

I am asking for your forgiveness. I know I  and your father don’t deserve it, but I hope you can see that we are trying to make amends, even if it's late. If there’s any way you can help us with financial support or guidance to assist Serna and her children, it would mean the world to us. We want to do right by them, and by you, if you’re willing to give us that chance.

We love you.

--------, ----...,,,,---,,,,....

When I got that message I was pretty angry?5. I have not seen my parents in over 10 years and I'm not willing to see them or even consider helping my sister with her kids. I have not responded yet but my husband is willing to send her a very harsh letter on behalf of me. We are considering just ignoring them but would I be an Asshole if I let my husband write a harsh reply?

edit: I got to live with my grandparents after they kicked me out, i'm also 43 if that was not clear. My oldest child is 23, so no they are not little kids anymore. Thank you for al the support, I came here expecting to get bashed❤️

There's two styles in my repertoire and you don't get to pick